Do You Want to Create Meaningful Changes? Start with Unlearning

Often, what is holding us back is not our inability to embrace something new, but our inability to let go of our old mindset and habits.

My Journey of Starting a New Business

I am entering my 3rd month of being an entrepreneur. As I reflect on these couple of months, one word that came to my mind is “reinvention.” I feel as though I am literally reinventing myself.

At the start of this journey, I didn't fully comprehend the degree and volume of changes I would be going through in building my own business. Without knowing what I didn’t know and facing them as they come, swirls of emotion and ambiguity sometimes fell on my face. Now, I am still learning to navigate them.

During this time, I am learning one clear lesson. That is…

I have been unlearning.

So, I want to share a little reflection on the lessons about unlearning.

Change doesn’t just happen

William Bridges is one of the respected thought leaders in the field of organizational change. In his famous Bridges' model of transition, he describes change as an external event, where something old stops and something new begins. One distinction he makes about change is the notion of transition. He describes a transition as a psychological reorientation people go through internally during change. Therefore, for us to embrace changes, we first need to manage our transition inside of our heads and mind.

Managing transition starts with letting go

Managing transition starts with having a proper ending to an old reality. It involves a process of letting go of something old so that we can be ready to embrace a new reality.

When I reflect on letting go recently, I started to understand the deeper meaning of it. Letting go is not just about releasing feelings and a sense of attachment to something. It is also an active act of unlearning. Unlearning involves investigating our existing mindset, challenging our beliefs and assumption, and making space to generate new learning. Unlearning can be uncomfortable for most of us, yet it can be transformative. I recently experienced a powerful shift from one unlearning as I transitioned from a corporate worker to an entrepreneur. It is about unlearning my short-term orientation about results.

Unlearning My Short-Term Orientation Towards Results

Having worked in fast-paced global tech companies for many years, I was (or still am) used to creating results on a short-term basis. Most of the projects I managed spanned over a couple of months and I had to show the results by the end of these projects and moved on for another. I was sprinting all the time throughout my career.

Hence, in terms of building a business, I unconsciously expected fo create a business result quickly. I almost considered entrepreneurship as a short-term project. I thought I would be able to figure out my branding, strategies, website, and client leads, etc. within the first 30 days. For example, I thought I could build my company website within 2 weeks after I started a business. It turned out that crafting a story of a business on a website is much more than just building a structure of contents. A website embeds the philosophy of how I do business, clarity on whom I want to serve, and how I will create client experience. All these needed time and proper exploration, and I realized I could not just rush it to get it done.

When it comes to client creation, I am also unlearning my expectation to build a trusting relationship quickly. It would be every business owner's dream to have many clients. However, the truth is a genuine relationship takes time to build. Especially in coaching and consulting, people share their lives and organizational challenges in a very real and vulnerable way, and it takes many steps of faith for people to trust me as a coach and consultant. So, I am learning to let go of my grip on rushing and to allow space for relationships to grow mature.

Through this unlearning, my perspective on building a business has shifted from a sprint to a marathon. I was a fast runner, trying to get to the finish line with adrenaline and hyped energy. Now, I am learning to be a marathon runner, pacing my breath and my energy for a long haul. There are still times when I force myself to be breathless and want to go faster, but I am reminding myself that each step will bring me closer to the finish line. Having the perspective of a marathon runner helps me at ease to know that fruit of hard work will come with consistent perseverance.

What are you unlearning?

Now, let's talk about you.

1. What change(s) are you going through right now?

2. Where do you feel stuck in navigating change?

3. What's one thing that you can unlearn to move forward?

As you reflect on the questions, please remember. You are getting one step closer to new possibilities.

“Before people can begin something new, they have to end what used to be and unlearn the old way.” — William Bridges

Are you looking for changes in your career? or Are you a leader in your organization and exploring how to make a meaningful and effective change in your team? Book a connection call here to explore how I can support you and your team.

Reference:

Bridges, W. (1991). Managing transitions. New York: Addison-Wesley.